Precious Gift, Gone Suddenly

I was wondering why the ultrasound technician was so silent when she was taking the ultrasound. I was expecting that she will show me the heartbeat of my baby but she said nothing. I didn’t care to ask anything since the result will be given to us after an hour. When we got our the result, my heart beat faster when I read the result. I really don’t know the exact meaning of the words that captured my attention, “EMBRYONIC DEMISE”. And one more thing, there was a remark, “HEARTBEAT, NOT APPRECIATED”. I was not at ease after reading those words. I had a feeling that there is something wrong with the result. Since my OB Gyne will be in her clinic at 2PM, we decided to go to the house of my cousin. I was so worried with what I have read. My husband kept on telling me that everything is alright . I was really worried and nervous so I decided to search for the meaning of those words on the internet. I was right, something is wrong. I wanted to  cry but my husband told me not to believe on what I have read on the internet since it is not a reliable reference. When it was almost 2 PM, we went to the doctor for her to see and interpret the result. She can’t believe on the result f the ultrasound since all the laboratory tests that I had are all fine. I heard it from my OB Gyne’s mouth clearly. The embryo inside my womb doesn’t have a heartbeat and had stopped growing. To make me calm, she asked me to have a second ultrasound after a week before she can have the final diagnosis. I stayed calmed inside the clinic but when we went out, I could no longer help but cry. I was crying really hard. I couldn’t believe with what I heard. A lot of questions came into my mind why it all happened. I took care of my health, I eat healthy foods, I even have vitamins and milk to support my pregnancy.

When we got home, my husband always comforted me and told me everything will be alright. We still have the second ultrasound after a week. The thought of a miracle that the heartbeat will be heard after a week made me strong and calm. Outside the hospital, we saw Papas and we told him about the result of the ultrasound. He advised us to see another OB Gyne for a second opinion. So we went to another OB. He still had the same recommendation with my first OB Gyne, to have a  second ultrasound after a week. Week passed and I had my second ultrasound but sad to say, it still had the same result. No heartbeat. And worse, I already have internal bleeding since the embryo starts to detach. The doctor told me that the embryo should be removed from my womb so that I will not be poisoned. I took a maternity leave. I was admitted to the hospital and had IV on my arm. The doctor had to inject medicine on the dextrose which help my cervix t open and have the embryo come out. 24 hours passed and nothing happened. I didn’t even feel pain. So the doctor advised us to go home and he gave me medicines that I am going to take orally. Those medicines worked and the embryo came out. It was so painful literally and emotionally.  I was again admitted to the hospital for the Dilation and Curettage. This time I was already calm. When I was taken back to my hospital room after the operation, tears fell from my eyes knowing that the precious gift is really gone. I was really sad that I cry often. I cannot understand the reason why this has to happen. I had sleepless nights. I would wake up in the middle of the night and cry. I cry and cry day and night. I search for an answer why it happened. I searched for the cause of the embryonic demise but there is no specific cause and clear explanation. My husband is always there to comfort me and to me strong. He never fail to pray for me. He was hurt deep inside to see me crying often. He always pray to God to give us strength and peace of mine. I placed everything to God, always asked Him to comfort me and give me strength. Days passed and I realized that God had healed the pain inside my heart. I have already accepted that God had better plans for us. I know that He will give us our bundle of joy in His time. I may not be able to understand the reasons why it has to happen but I just cling on to His words that He will make all things beautiful in His time.

Burrrrrrrrp!!!

Had a dinner with my boyfriend at Inilog Grill. It's one of our favorite restaurants. We enjoy eating our favorite food while listening to the music played by the live band. I really love their pork sinigang that it made me forgot my diet.  I thank my boyfriend for the treat. I am always looking forward for another bonding moment with him.

Precious Gift

My monthly period is delayed so I decided to buy a pregnancy test and indeed I was right, it’s positive – I am pregnant. My husband and I are both happy for this precious gift inside my womb and even my parents. They are so excited to have their first grandchild. Whatever the gender will be, we already had prepared a name for our baby. I know I need to take extra care for my health not just for me but for the precious gift inside my womb. I need to be healthy so that my baby is healthy. I am taking vitamins and I drink anmum materna regularly  which helps in the development of the baby. I can’t wait for the baby to grow and for my tummy to get bigger. So excited to feel the kicks soon.

I Do

September 10^th  2010, 4PM. The day I said I do to the man God gave me. Goodbye singleness. Hello married life.

I was filled with mixed emotions on our big day. Tears fell from my eyes when I was about to walk on the aisle. I really can’t figure out the exact reason why I cried. Maybe I was touched by the song that was sung by my husband. All I know is that those were tears of joy.

Symphony

A good friend of my mine introduce the symphony. Its fascinating in the sense that it is huge and color brown. It taste great because when it melt to your tongue it seems that you still want more and more. It gives a satisfactory taste and not too much of sweet but its just having an extraordinary taste that you are craving for more. Its a Creamy Milk Chocolate with almonds and Toffee Chips. It's a Hershey's product. It will give you a satisfactory taste. Thanks to our Administrator for sharing her Symphony to us.

My Palangga's Birthday

My little Franzine Gee a.k.a Xsengxseng is now a big girl. I can't believe she's now grown up. I used to take care of her when she was still a baby. How time really flies. I missed her so much. I wish December is here so that we could have a time together.

Wedding Preparations

My fiancé and I are “hands on” in preparing for our wedding. We still have wedding coordinators who help us with the preparation but we decided not to rely everything on them. We wanted a simple yet elegant wedding with a budget that is not expensive. When we decided to get married, we started to save from our earnings and place it on the bank. There are also some people who pledge to help us financially. The first thing that we purchased for our wedding are the wedding rings because my fiance had a dream that our wedding came and he realized that he forgot to buy our wedding rings. So we decided to buy our wedding rings and I kept them under my care.

Since I love to do arts and crafts, we decided to make our wedding invitations. I designed our own invitation. Thanks to the help of my fiancée’s student who edited the texts for the invitations, and to Papas and ate Grace for allowing us to print the invitations in their house. I made the envelopes for the invitations and to make it more attractive, I placed a gold ribbon and a butterfly on it.  A lot of people say that it looks elegant.  I also prepared the candles needed for the ceremony. I made some enhancements to the candle by decorating it with ribbons and butterflies. Even the matches that are to be used in lighting the candles were decorated with ribbons. I even made our own cords. We bought a two toned cord and I just decorated it to make it beautiful.

Almost everything is set for our wedding. I am so excited for that day to come.